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Self-Sabotage: The hidden guise - thinking you know what you don’t know.

Most of us are all too familiar how we self-sabotage, and with the inherent struggle to stop our self defeating behaviours and doubting minds.

However, sometimes self-defeating thoughts and behaviours can also be more insidious, and as a result we are unawares of its impact on our ability to flourish in our personal and professional endeavours.

Feeling Shame and Regret

For clarification, I refer to self-sabotage as any action, thought and or feeling that you find yourself engaging in, at the expense of something and/ or someone else, and more often than not your own happiness.

I call it a hidden guise, as it is expressed as an ingrained habit, which makes it feel so comfortable and effortless to carry on with. Thereby, making it feel like an inescapable part of you.

Thinking you know what you don’t know, means that you invent and elaborate detailed justifications on why you can’t change or why change is not possible for you. We justify our situation, because it is the minds natural propensity to keep our environment in balance which helps us navigate our world safely. For example, each of us has a set schema, i.e. an internal psychological representation, on how we see and understand the world. Any deviation from this schema feels strange, uncomfortable and outright quite unbelievable - our brain’s way to ensure we don’t rock the boat and keep our environment in equilibrium with what we know and are familiar with. Thus, change is threatening and the reason why it is so incredibly difficult to stop self-sabotage.

Finally, although overcoming self-sabotage is a challenge - the operative word being challenge - with the right information, tools and support you can minimise and ultimately stop self-sabotage.

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